When Cinderella Loses Her Glass Slipper at Age 40
Life is constantly changing. Couples growing closer, couples growing apart ending up divorced. We wondered, are there more single woman in my age group these days hanging out at social clubs? Of the 81 million Baby Boomers alive, the 2010 Census shows an even match; half men and half women. When both reach the age of 64, women begin to dominate the age group from that point on. Women in the United States are projected to outlive men by 5 to 7 years. This creates interesting issues for women, expected to end up alone during retirement.
With divorce rates so high, couples are leaving each other long before aging actualization. According to the National Marriage Project, women seek divorce more often than men. Divorced myself at age 30, I know wearing three hats; wife, mother and second household income provider, is pressure which wears women out. Men would argue they play the same roles at the same level. Now at age 48, I realize this isn’t the core problem. I believe women enjoy all three roles and are evolving into an independent species. Working women like the recognition and independence they have found in the workplace.
These days, single women my age are very comfortable in their own skin. They travel to Europe alone, dine out alone and date, if they feel like it. We see a new trend in home buying. One of our clients, a financially secure single woman from Texas relocated and moved into her dream home in one of the best master planned communities in Western North Carolina. She bought the property and built her dream home, all on her own. To be happy, women appear to no longer need Prince Charming and the glass slipper. Although, we don’t believe in the ‘walls’ women have built around themselves. By Devine design, women do need men and men need women. Proven by marriage statistics, men do want to be married and are quicker to open up their hearts. Men feel more complete when they are coddled and cared for by their wife, just like their Mom’s took care of them when they were a little boy. If women are financially independent, they are much slower to make that commitment again because they don’t need to be financially provided for. They may not want to fall back into a care taking role.
How Will Baby Boomers Solve These New Issues Going Forward? What is a Social Club?
Living on One Income - A two income lifestyle often affords luxury cars, extravagant vacations and big ticket items. When a couple divorces, the transition is difficult for both parties, learning to live on one household income, let alone retiring on one income. Did we kill our retirement dream by getting divorced?
Baggage - ‘Baggage’ is referred to as burdens brought into a relationship by one of the parties such as debt, health issues, permanent alimony in Florida, Boomerang Kids living back at home after age 30 or continuous conflicts between an ex-spouse. Will baggage prevent compatible couples from falling in love, even if they could be perfect for each other?
The Dreaded Dating Scene - Looking in the mirror can be depressing, especially when you think about dating again. Wrinkles, weighing more and receding hairlines can kill our desire to retro-date our high school sweetheart on Facebook. Playing the field may seem exciting at first but, in reality who wants to meet their next spouse at a bar and does Match.com really work?
Preserving Independence - After divorce, hopefully we have a better idea in our minds, what qualities we want in our new mate. Perfection of course, yet unrealistic. The kiss of death in relationships over the age of 40, is a guy or girl who gets too clingy. That is the last thing an independent man or woman wants. What can men and women do to insure they support and promote each others independence? Maybe merging finances and living arrangements isn’t the way to go, after all.
To us, we would define the solution in four words: downsize, flexibility, reasonableness and consciousness. These four deliberate actions will allow Baby Boomers to pick up where they left off and make the best of their golden years. Not all middle age couples decide to divorce. In long term marriages, some couples are more tolerant of each other, although their lives may be monotonous and boring.
Social clubs in best master planned communities can be just what the doctor ordered, to spice up their marriage. What is a social club? Book clubs, tennis clubs, dinner parties and travel adventures are just a few of the social activities couples in close knit communities enjoy together. Moving to residential real estate communities with enriching social clubs can add tremendous value to married couples and single Baby Boomers. Social clubs are great places to meet new friends and we see as the true heart and soul of a community.
For single Baby Boomers, we encourage you to join a Meetup Group. Meetup Groups are made up of people who share common interests like hiking and kayaking, without the pressure of dating. We're here to help you with logistics, if you are considering relocation. We can provide you with a list of the best master planned communities with friendly social clubs. Reach out to us and say 'hello' at info@communityfinder.com
We hope these thought provoking ideas will help you reinvent yourself, allowing you to move forward with your retirement on a positive note. Fear will prevent you from living your fullest life, after age 40. Regret will make you mad at yourself, after age 65. Downsize, be flexible, reasonable and consciously aware of the need for independence at this sensitive time in life. What is a social club? Social clubs are the key to a higher quality of life, especially if you lose your glass slipper.
